Sunday, July 10, 2005
Grandma/4th Uncle, We Will Always Love You...
I did not intend to blog initially but I was watching a charity show for cancer patients and some thoughts came to me.
In the last 2 years, 4 very dear family members passed away and 2 of them passed away because of cancers. I was especially closed to my grandma and 1 of the uncles that passed away and there was a very deep impact on me and my families then cos' they both passed away within a month...
It was November 2003... My grandma had been hospitalised for almost 2 months. She was suffering from Pneumonia. She cannot really talk by then and food cannot be fed to her through her mouth. We can only feed her milk through her nose, meaning that a tube had to be inserted into her nose to go to her stomach. Although she cannot talk to us but we can tell that it was painful for her to have the tube inserted into her. It wrenched our hearts to see her suffer like this. During the last 2 weeks when thing was not looking very good, everyone in the family will try to visit her in the hospital everyday. We will just talked to her cos' we know that she can hear us... Then one evening, we received a call from my cousin to say that grandma might not make it through the night. Even though we had expected this day but we were still quite shocked by the news. We rushed down to the hospital immediately and when we reached there, the doctor was trying to save her one last time... 10 minutes later, the doctor came out to tell us that my grandma is gone. We ran into her ward to see her one last time and really cried our hearts out. I will always remember the times I had spent with my grandma like the steamboat buffet session together with my cousins, those chalet stays even though she was starting to suffer dementia, when me and my cousin help her to bath and the first time I fed her when she could not do so herself. I remembered I cried the first time I fed her cos' it hurt me to see her in the state...
A month later in December 2003, we were slowly 'recovering' from my grandma's death. My uncle was hospitalised. He was diagnosed with lung cancer, which had spreaded to the brain, in December 2002. After my grandma's death, my uncle's health deteriorated. He was one of the son-in-laws of my grandma so they are all from my mum's side of the family. It was quite traumatising for all of us at that time. Grandma just passed away not too long ago and now with my uncle getting weaker, we were all praying that it will not happened again. Then my uncle got hospitalised. The doctor told us 'to prepare for the worst', saying that my uncle might not make it through the weekend. He was in pain as the cancer cells had spreaded to other parts of his body but being man from our parents' era, they will not tell you that they are in pain. They will just suffer in silence. About 2 days before my uncle passed away, we received a call from his son at 4am in the morning. He told us that my uncle wanted to see me and my sister. My sister and me rushed down to the hospital cos' we do not want to disappoint him. He did not say anything in particular to us but that is not important cos' in our hearts, we know that he loves us as much. That is enough. For the next 2 days, we just spent our days in the hospital to accompany him. My uncle passed away end December. It was one of the darkest moments for my family (immediate and extended). Lucky for us, we are very closed as a family. We helped and supported each other through that period...
It has been 1.5 years since both my grandma and uncle passed away but it seems like just yesterday that all these happened. I know I can safely speak for all my families that 'We miss you both and we love you always...'
In the last 2 years, 4 very dear family members passed away and 2 of them passed away because of cancers. I was especially closed to my grandma and 1 of the uncles that passed away and there was a very deep impact on me and my families then cos' they both passed away within a month...
It was November 2003... My grandma had been hospitalised for almost 2 months. She was suffering from Pneumonia. She cannot really talk by then and food cannot be fed to her through her mouth. We can only feed her milk through her nose, meaning that a tube had to be inserted into her nose to go to her stomach. Although she cannot talk to us but we can tell that it was painful for her to have the tube inserted into her. It wrenched our hearts to see her suffer like this. During the last 2 weeks when thing was not looking very good, everyone in the family will try to visit her in the hospital everyday. We will just talked to her cos' we know that she can hear us... Then one evening, we received a call from my cousin to say that grandma might not make it through the night. Even though we had expected this day but we were still quite shocked by the news. We rushed down to the hospital immediately and when we reached there, the doctor was trying to save her one last time... 10 minutes later, the doctor came out to tell us that my grandma is gone. We ran into her ward to see her one last time and really cried our hearts out. I will always remember the times I had spent with my grandma like the steamboat buffet session together with my cousins, those chalet stays even though she was starting to suffer dementia, when me and my cousin help her to bath and the first time I fed her when she could not do so herself. I remembered I cried the first time I fed her cos' it hurt me to see her in the state...
A month later in December 2003, we were slowly 'recovering' from my grandma's death. My uncle was hospitalised. He was diagnosed with lung cancer, which had spreaded to the brain, in December 2002. After my grandma's death, my uncle's health deteriorated. He was one of the son-in-laws of my grandma so they are all from my mum's side of the family. It was quite traumatising for all of us at that time. Grandma just passed away not too long ago and now with my uncle getting weaker, we were all praying that it will not happened again. Then my uncle got hospitalised. The doctor told us 'to prepare for the worst', saying that my uncle might not make it through the weekend. He was in pain as the cancer cells had spreaded to other parts of his body but being man from our parents' era, they will not tell you that they are in pain. They will just suffer in silence. About 2 days before my uncle passed away, we received a call from his son at 4am in the morning. He told us that my uncle wanted to see me and my sister. My sister and me rushed down to the hospital cos' we do not want to disappoint him. He did not say anything in particular to us but that is not important cos' in our hearts, we know that he loves us as much. That is enough. For the next 2 days, we just spent our days in the hospital to accompany him. My uncle passed away end December. It was one of the darkest moments for my family (immediate and extended). Lucky for us, we are very closed as a family. We helped and supported each other through that period...
It has been 1.5 years since both my grandma and uncle passed away but it seems like just yesterday that all these happened. I know I can safely speak for all my families that 'We miss you both and we love you always...'
11:00 PM
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