Friday, July 15, 2005
My Buddies (Part 1)
To me, friends play a very important part in my life. A person does not need a lot of friends. All he/she needs is a couple of very good friends, whom you know will be there when you need some company.
I must say that I am very lucky to have a few very good friends in my life, 3 actually. I know they are my best friends cos' they accept me for who I am and will be there for me when I need them. Of course, I will do the same thing for them (In case, you think I am a sucker.). Although I knew them from different stages of my life but we had been 'bestest' of friends since then. I will blog about the first 2 buddies that I have in another blog in the near future. Today I would like to blog about the last girlfriend, F, which had become my buddy.
I knew F in March 2004. I just joined my second buddy, J's, company and J introduced me to F. We started to hang out together a lot cos' we had some common activity going on then. We were also hanging out more cos' at one point of time, she will come my place and wait for her boyfriend to come pick her up after his work. Our bond built up tremendously during that period. We will talk about everything and anything about our family, friends, work, relationship and pratically everything under the stars. We see each other during working hours and even off working hours. She became very closed to my family and relatives. F is that kind of girl that is easily likeable. She is like part of my family. There are many times where we will see each other 7 days a week and we always seems to have endless topics to talk about. I guess it is more so because our thinking are quite alike. I still remember the time when I was having some personal problems and was almost in a depression, she will always be there for me. We had a lot of memories together... We went swimming, chill out over coffee, drive around, gossiping at hotel, staying over at her place... Those were the days.
Then in April this year, something happened and we were not talking to each other. Everybody around me were very puzzled what happened to us cos' they always see us together and started asking me... I always put up a brave front and refused to tell them what happened cos' I do not want them to see how sad and affected I am by it. I know that people I know will take side (my side) if they can see how sad and affected I am but I do not want that to happen cos' somewhere in my heart, I am pinning on a hope that we will be like before again and if that happens, I do not want them to show F an attitude.
In fact F and I had briefly talked to each other on smses and we wanted to patch things up like before but we had not had the chance all along. I would be lying if I tell you that I have not been thinking about her all this while... after all, we do come a long way.
Last night, I received a call from F. Even though it was 12:15am, I readily agreed to go out for coffee with her. We were just drinking coffee and chatting like old times. We did not talk about what happened between us and I believe that both of us have a guarded feeling of 'putting' in our feelings this time round. I personally feel that it can be worked on cos' I believe both of us do not want this friendship to end. I guess we will have to see how things go and also how much we want this friendship to carry on... For me, a lot...
I must say that I am very lucky to have a few very good friends in my life, 3 actually. I know they are my best friends cos' they accept me for who I am and will be there for me when I need them. Of course, I will do the same thing for them (In case, you think I am a sucker.). Although I knew them from different stages of my life but we had been 'bestest' of friends since then. I will blog about the first 2 buddies that I have in another blog in the near future. Today I would like to blog about the last girlfriend, F, which had become my buddy.
I knew F in March 2004. I just joined my second buddy, J's, company and J introduced me to F. We started to hang out together a lot cos' we had some common activity going on then. We were also hanging out more cos' at one point of time, she will come my place and wait for her boyfriend to come pick her up after his work. Our bond built up tremendously during that period. We will talk about everything and anything about our family, friends, work, relationship and pratically everything under the stars. We see each other during working hours and even off working hours. She became very closed to my family and relatives. F is that kind of girl that is easily likeable. She is like part of my family. There are many times where we will see each other 7 days a week and we always seems to have endless topics to talk about. I guess it is more so because our thinking are quite alike. I still remember the time when I was having some personal problems and was almost in a depression, she will always be there for me. We had a lot of memories together... We went swimming, chill out over coffee, drive around, gossiping at hotel, staying over at her place... Those were the days.
Then in April this year, something happened and we were not talking to each other. Everybody around me were very puzzled what happened to us cos' they always see us together and started asking me... I always put up a brave front and refused to tell them what happened cos' I do not want them to see how sad and affected I am by it. I know that people I know will take side (my side) if they can see how sad and affected I am but I do not want that to happen cos' somewhere in my heart, I am pinning on a hope that we will be like before again and if that happens, I do not want them to show F an attitude.
In fact F and I had briefly talked to each other on smses and we wanted to patch things up like before but we had not had the chance all along. I would be lying if I tell you that I have not been thinking about her all this while... after all, we do come a long way.
Last night, I received a call from F. Even though it was 12:15am, I readily agreed to go out for coffee with her. We were just drinking coffee and chatting like old times. We did not talk about what happened between us and I believe that both of us have a guarded feeling of 'putting' in our feelings this time round. I personally feel that it can be worked on cos' I believe both of us do not want this friendship to end. I guess we will have to see how things go and also how much we want this friendship to carry on... For me, a lot...
5:07 PM
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Thanks Dear, For The Pressies
It had been 4 days/3 nights and she is finally back from Bangkok... I'm talking about my sister, of course.
She came back from Bangkok yesternight and she bought so many, many presents for us and I really mean many many... Everyone of us got at least 2 presents... my dad, my mum, my brother and her girlfriend, myself and not forgeting herself too. She came back with 2 big luggages, 1.5 for all the clothings/bags/shoes/accessories and the other 0.5 for the local goodies.
She bought me 3 bags, 2 pairs of sunglasses and a T-shirt. I love all the presents that she bought me, especially the 2 handbags and the 2 pairs of sunglasses. It is just what I need now... Thanks dear.
One thing though... I am curious how much she spent on this trip to Bangkok. I wonder...
She came back from Bangkok yesternight and she bought so many, many presents for us and I really mean many many... Everyone of us got at least 2 presents... my dad, my mum, my brother and her girlfriend, myself and not forgeting herself too. She came back with 2 big luggages, 1.5 for all the clothings/bags/shoes/accessories and the other 0.5 for the local goodies.
She bought me 3 bags, 2 pairs of sunglasses and a T-shirt. I love all the presents that she bought me, especially the 2 handbags and the 2 pairs of sunglasses. It is just what I need now... Thanks dear.
One thing though... I am curious how much she spent on this trip to Bangkok. I wonder...
11:19 PM
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Sunday, July 10, 2005
Grandma/4th Uncle, We Will Always Love You...
I did not intend to blog initially but I was watching a charity show for cancer patients and some thoughts came to me.
In the last 2 years, 4 very dear family members passed away and 2 of them passed away because of cancers. I was especially closed to my grandma and 1 of the uncles that passed away and there was a very deep impact on me and my families then cos' they both passed away within a month...
It was November 2003... My grandma had been hospitalised for almost 2 months. She was suffering from Pneumonia. She cannot really talk by then and food cannot be fed to her through her mouth. We can only feed her milk through her nose, meaning that a tube had to be inserted into her nose to go to her stomach. Although she cannot talk to us but we can tell that it was painful for her to have the tube inserted into her. It wrenched our hearts to see her suffer like this. During the last 2 weeks when thing was not looking very good, everyone in the family will try to visit her in the hospital everyday. We will just talked to her cos' we know that she can hear us... Then one evening, we received a call from my cousin to say that grandma might not make it through the night. Even though we had expected this day but we were still quite shocked by the news. We rushed down to the hospital immediately and when we reached there, the doctor was trying to save her one last time... 10 minutes later, the doctor came out to tell us that my grandma is gone. We ran into her ward to see her one last time and really cried our hearts out. I will always remember the times I had spent with my grandma like the steamboat buffet session together with my cousins, those chalet stays even though she was starting to suffer dementia, when me and my cousin help her to bath and the first time I fed her when she could not do so herself. I remembered I cried the first time I fed her cos' it hurt me to see her in the state...
A month later in December 2003, we were slowly 'recovering' from my grandma's death. My uncle was hospitalised. He was diagnosed with lung cancer, which had spreaded to the brain, in December 2002. After my grandma's death, my uncle's health deteriorated. He was one of the son-in-laws of my grandma so they are all from my mum's side of the family. It was quite traumatising for all of us at that time. Grandma just passed away not too long ago and now with my uncle getting weaker, we were all praying that it will not happened again. Then my uncle got hospitalised. The doctor told us 'to prepare for the worst', saying that my uncle might not make it through the weekend. He was in pain as the cancer cells had spreaded to other parts of his body but being man from our parents' era, they will not tell you that they are in pain. They will just suffer in silence. About 2 days before my uncle passed away, we received a call from his son at 4am in the morning. He told us that my uncle wanted to see me and my sister. My sister and me rushed down to the hospital cos' we do not want to disappoint him. He did not say anything in particular to us but that is not important cos' in our hearts, we know that he loves us as much. That is enough. For the next 2 days, we just spent our days in the hospital to accompany him. My uncle passed away end December. It was one of the darkest moments for my family (immediate and extended). Lucky for us, we are very closed as a family. We helped and supported each other through that period...
It has been 1.5 years since both my grandma and uncle passed away but it seems like just yesterday that all these happened. I know I can safely speak for all my families that 'We miss you both and we love you always...'
In the last 2 years, 4 very dear family members passed away and 2 of them passed away because of cancers. I was especially closed to my grandma and 1 of the uncles that passed away and there was a very deep impact on me and my families then cos' they both passed away within a month...
It was November 2003... My grandma had been hospitalised for almost 2 months. She was suffering from Pneumonia. She cannot really talk by then and food cannot be fed to her through her mouth. We can only feed her milk through her nose, meaning that a tube had to be inserted into her nose to go to her stomach. Although she cannot talk to us but we can tell that it was painful for her to have the tube inserted into her. It wrenched our hearts to see her suffer like this. During the last 2 weeks when thing was not looking very good, everyone in the family will try to visit her in the hospital everyday. We will just talked to her cos' we know that she can hear us... Then one evening, we received a call from my cousin to say that grandma might not make it through the night. Even though we had expected this day but we were still quite shocked by the news. We rushed down to the hospital immediately and when we reached there, the doctor was trying to save her one last time... 10 minutes later, the doctor came out to tell us that my grandma is gone. We ran into her ward to see her one last time and really cried our hearts out. I will always remember the times I had spent with my grandma like the steamboat buffet session together with my cousins, those chalet stays even though she was starting to suffer dementia, when me and my cousin help her to bath and the first time I fed her when she could not do so herself. I remembered I cried the first time I fed her cos' it hurt me to see her in the state...
A month later in December 2003, we were slowly 'recovering' from my grandma's death. My uncle was hospitalised. He was diagnosed with lung cancer, which had spreaded to the brain, in December 2002. After my grandma's death, my uncle's health deteriorated. He was one of the son-in-laws of my grandma so they are all from my mum's side of the family. It was quite traumatising for all of us at that time. Grandma just passed away not too long ago and now with my uncle getting weaker, we were all praying that it will not happened again. Then my uncle got hospitalised. The doctor told us 'to prepare for the worst', saying that my uncle might not make it through the weekend. He was in pain as the cancer cells had spreaded to other parts of his body but being man from our parents' era, they will not tell you that they are in pain. They will just suffer in silence. About 2 days before my uncle passed away, we received a call from his son at 4am in the morning. He told us that my uncle wanted to see me and my sister. My sister and me rushed down to the hospital cos' we do not want to disappoint him. He did not say anything in particular to us but that is not important cos' in our hearts, we know that he loves us as much. That is enough. For the next 2 days, we just spent our days in the hospital to accompany him. My uncle passed away end December. It was one of the darkest moments for my family (immediate and extended). Lucky for us, we are very closed as a family. We helped and supported each other through that period...
It has been 1.5 years since both my grandma and uncle passed away but it seems like just yesterday that all these happened. I know I can safely speak for all my families that 'We miss you both and we love you always...'
11:00 PM
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Yummyyyyy...
Saturday is our weekly family (immediate and extended) gathering. Today, the gathering is at my place.
I woke up only in the afternoon cos' I only reached home at 4:30am last night. After I had my brunch with my aunts and cousins and nephews, I had 2 rounds of games with my mum and 2 aunts. By the time e 2 games were done, it was dinner time.
As per tradition, mum wil cook more on our gathering day. Today, she cooked one of her specialities, the Mee Hoon Kueh. Mum's Mee Hoon Kueh is well-liked by everybody that had eaten it before and if we haven't eaten it for a while, we will have cravings for it. 2 weeks ago, my godson's parents were just asking for mum's Mee Hoon Kueh. My cousin was also asking for it last Saturday too. Mum's Mee Hoon Kueh is so yummy that you will never catch me eating those selling in food centres cos' I personally feel that those cannot be compared to mum's.
Mum will fry all the things that goes into the Mee Hoon Kueh separately. There will be minced meat, lean meat, dried mushrooms, button mushrooms, ikan bilis and small onions. After you cook the bowl of kuehs, add in all the other ingredients. Pour the soup over it, add chilli and you will have a bowl of delicious Mee Hoon Kueh from my mum... Yummy!!
I woke up only in the afternoon cos' I only reached home at 4:30am last night. After I had my brunch with my aunts and cousins and nephews, I had 2 rounds of games with my mum and 2 aunts. By the time e 2 games were done, it was dinner time.
As per tradition, mum wil cook more on our gathering day. Today, she cooked one of her specialities, the Mee Hoon Kueh. Mum's Mee Hoon Kueh is well-liked by everybody that had eaten it before and if we haven't eaten it for a while, we will have cravings for it. 2 weeks ago, my godson's parents were just asking for mum's Mee Hoon Kueh. My cousin was also asking for it last Saturday too. Mum's Mee Hoon Kueh is so yummy that you will never catch me eating those selling in food centres cos' I personally feel that those cannot be compared to mum's.
Mum will fry all the things that goes into the Mee Hoon Kueh separately. There will be minced meat, lean meat, dried mushrooms, button mushrooms, ikan bilis and small onions. After you cook the bowl of kuehs, add in all the other ingredients. Pour the soup over it, add chilli and you will have a bowl of delicious Mee Hoon Kueh from my mum... Yummy!!
1:10 AM
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Thursday, July 07, 2005
It is ridiculous but I cannot help it.
My sister is going Bangkok tomorrow morning and will be back next Monday. She is staying at her house tonight. Her husband just came to pick her up. I know it sounds ridiculous but I am missing her already, especially when the thought of not seeing her for the next few days come to my mind. I can tell you, the feeling is mutual.
I am very closed to my sister. She is 1 year younger than me. Since young, we had been quite inseparable. When we were young, mum used to dress us up like twins except different colours. I am usually in pink and my sister in red cos' that was our favourite colour then. When we were in primary school, mum had a rule that we had to revise our school books twice a day. You know how boring that can be so my sister and I will exchange textbooks to read. Yes, I know I am the stupid one here... She is reading something new but I am reading something that I had studied a year ago. When we had our meals together, I am always the fast eater and my sister is the tortoise eater. She will always get scolding from mum for eating like a tortoise. After a while, she became smart and scooped some of her food to me and we will end up finishing the dinner at the same time. I really do not mind helping her finish her food. After all, I love her so much that I do not want to see her being scolded by my mum for eating her food sooooooo sloooooowwwww. One thing I regretted though... I think that is part of the reason why I got a rounder figure than her. Damn it...
My sister has turned into a lovely lady. She really cares for the family. Filial to my parents, caring for my bother and me and nice to everybody she knows. She is a lady that all men will wan to have as their other half. I am happy that she has found her other half. She had registered her marriage and we are all waiting for her to go through her customary marriage ceremony. I know that it will be a joyous occassion for all that who know her.
I want her to be happy and I will love her, always...
I am very closed to my sister. She is 1 year younger than me. Since young, we had been quite inseparable. When we were young, mum used to dress us up like twins except different colours. I am usually in pink and my sister in red cos' that was our favourite colour then. When we were in primary school, mum had a rule that we had to revise our school books twice a day. You know how boring that can be so my sister and I will exchange textbooks to read. Yes, I know I am the stupid one here... She is reading something new but I am reading something that I had studied a year ago. When we had our meals together, I am always the fast eater and my sister is the tortoise eater. She will always get scolding from mum for eating like a tortoise. After a while, she became smart and scooped some of her food to me and we will end up finishing the dinner at the same time. I really do not mind helping her finish her food. After all, I love her so much that I do not want to see her being scolded by my mum for eating her food sooooooo sloooooowwwww. One thing I regretted though... I think that is part of the reason why I got a rounder figure than her. Damn it...
My sister has turned into a lovely lady. She really cares for the family. Filial to my parents, caring for my bother and me and nice to everybody she knows. She is a lady that all men will wan to have as their other half. I am happy that she has found her other half. She had registered her marriage and we are all waiting for her to go through her customary marriage ceremony. I know that it will be a joyous occassion for all that who know her.
I want her to be happy and I will love her, always...
11:40 PM
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Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Why today?
I actually had had this blog for a few months already. I even put up a couple of posts before but I thought they were too boring for people to read so I took them down. But now I have decided that I just want to put down my everyday's feeling. I now declare that frenzylove is my new found friend, one whom I can confide in on anything and everything. Thanks, dear...
I have very mixed feeling about my ex-boyfriend now... We were together for 8 years but we broke up in April this year. It has been almost 3 months now. Like every couple, we had our ups and downs in our 8 years together. Today he asked to reconcile our relationship but I am skeptical about it. I am worried that we will end up with the same problems again. He said he will 'comply to my needs'. Lest you think I am a demanding b*tch, let me assure you that I'm not. I just want to spend more time with him. When I said spend more time, I don't even mean everyday of the week. I am only saying about twice a week. He used to be so busy that I usually only meet him once a week. When have you seen a couple that only spend their time together once a week? I feel that he's taking me for granted after a while. I think I spent more time with my friends than him.
Now that he asked for a reconciliation, I am really tempted and happy. I admit that I still have feelings for him and he can still easily affect my mood but I am also scared at the same time. What am I to do now? I pray to god to give me some indication...
I have very mixed feeling about my ex-boyfriend now... We were together for 8 years but we broke up in April this year. It has been almost 3 months now. Like every couple, we had our ups and downs in our 8 years together. Today he asked to reconcile our relationship but I am skeptical about it. I am worried that we will end up with the same problems again. He said he will 'comply to my needs'. Lest you think I am a demanding b*tch, let me assure you that I'm not. I just want to spend more time with him. When I said spend more time, I don't even mean everyday of the week. I am only saying about twice a week. He used to be so busy that I usually only meet him once a week. When have you seen a couple that only spend their time together once a week? I feel that he's taking me for granted after a while. I think I spent more time with my friends than him.
Now that he asked for a reconciliation, I am really tempted and happy. I admit that I still have feelings for him and he can still easily affect my mood but I am also scared at the same time. What am I to do now? I pray to god to give me some indication...
12:20 AM
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